Slow down.
This is a pretty obvious one, but easily overlooked. To everyone's detriment, really, because it's pretty much the cornerstone of good sex.
It isn't necessarily about taking the time, although it is a big factor - if you have the time, allocate a day or half day to it. If you don't, when you have kids, for example, when everything gets harder to fit in, then simply use your 20 minutes or so as slowly as possible.
It's about the approach you take to the time. If you take the 'idle curiosity' approach, rather than the 'got to get this done, tick the box off' then you will find the results a lot more rewarding.
Don't try and fit in a quickie, just to get it done.
So the challenge is: aim not to have penetrative sex, in fact forget nudity altogether. Take away the element of having to get to the 'end'. Have clothes on sex. This means, if you're a time poor mum wearing old-tshirts and trackpants to bed, at least for one night, wear something a little more sexy than comfy. Doesn't have to be lingerie - it is winter after all - just something different, a little more svelte. Something that you can be touched through and actually feel the contact. Spend whatever time you have in a curiosity-focused exploration of over the clothes touch. Have your partner touch you through the seat of your pants...and vice versa... respond to their responses, go where it sounds like it feels good, communicate lots! Tell them when something feels good. Make it clear that it will go no further than here. (If your partner wants to jump straight to the nudity part, tell them it's only for one night. An experiment. Something you read on a silly blog and you thought why not try it for something different to do.) See what happens when all you are 'allowed' to do is touch with clothes on for 20 minutes or so.
If you have time for this outside of the bedroom, I'd recommend wearing jeans when you do it. The seams, the buttons, the fabric all make it perfect for this kind of touching.
Be curious and communicative and forget about the 'ending'.
Got a private message back from a reader, who said that the Week 1 challenge led to the best sex her and her husband have ever had.. this is inspiration and motivation enough for me to keep blogging!
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