I love this term - it always makes me laugh. Part of me thinks it's silly - since much of society is about exhibiting yourself, your talents, your skills, your beauty - and yet this is a word with negative connotations. Conjuring images of strange men on the street showing their bits and heralding the end of the world.
In my day to day life as an artist and performance artist, I rather like playing with the term, referring to myself as an 'exhibitionist' rather than an artist, hoping to subvert its meaning a little, to give the word a more positive connotation related to art and the beauty of the human form. But even for me it's hard to completely get rid of that image of the crazy guy on the street with that word.
A little while back I was contacted by a potential client who wished to commission me for a life drawing. This was a common enough situation in itself, however, it soon became a little more complicated. Firstly, it was a male client, where I am more used to commissions from ladies, and secondly, and perhaps more significantly, he asked whether I would be comfortable drawing him while he masturbated on occasion - stating that the masturbation was only in order to stay erect, as he wished it to be 'truly represented'.
As open minded as I try to be, I confess I was rather taken aback, with 'exhibitionist' 'crazy guy' alarm bells ringing. But after a few moments to digest the request, I thought well maybe it's not such a crazy thing. He is entitled to his requests when commissioning a service, and in a very business-like way, he is being very upfront about his needs. That's not to say that I feel in any way comfortable with agreeing to the request, only, I guess, that I respected his honesty. There are probably many men out there who'd be thinking it (wouldn't mind a little private fluff before being drawn, don't want it looking small!!) but wouldn't be brave enough to ask for it. Or worse, a disrespectful type who would make a move, or just do it without permission, once in the studio.
In this sense it's really much easier being a woman. What you see is what you get. There's nothing last minute we can do to our bodies to improve on their 'womanliness'. No fluffing required. At least this is one insecurity we needn't have!
So in the end, I very politely declined the commission, saying I appreciated the honesty but equally honestly, I am not comfortable with his requirements, but best of luck. There are many erotic artists and performers out there who might be more comfortable with such a request.
But as I wrote my declining email, I thought that maybe what we all need is an honest little tip of the hat to our exhibitionist sides. After all, it is as much the side that says, 'hey this is my nudity, this is my sexuality, it's mine, I'm proud' as it is the crazy guy on the street.
In the comfort of your own relationship, I think it is okay, maybe essential, to feel that bodily exhibitionist pride. To display yourself to your partner and 'perform' for each other. I don't mean that in a circus and trapeze way, it could be just a 'this is me putting on yummy lingerie and letting you look at me' sort of way. And I have more ideas on this theme for this week's challenge. So if you're intrigued, read onwards and upwards.
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